I believe that God gave me this disease to bring me closer to Him and so that I can share my hope and recovery with others. I was powerless to stop my behavior and change, but God has changed me through this program. I am part of a recovery community that is much greater than myself. I don’t act on the temptation because I have tools I can use to help me through the rough times.
#SEX ADDICTS ANONYMOUS MEETINGS OKC FULL#
God saved me from the full consequences of my addiction so that I might live to help others. It was never any more complicated than that. God’s intention for me was to get well so I could help others get well. I believe now that God had a plan for me all along. No longer was I afraid to share my thoughts and experiences.
Here were men and women who understood and shared my struggle, but had changed and were willing to help me change. I felt as if I had stepped into a warm, welcoming home. Three members gave me an introduction to Sexaholics Anonymous. I remember that first meeting as if it were yesterday, though now it is over seven years ago. The downward spiral stopped when I found Sexaholics Anonymous. I saw no way out short of divine intervention. Endlessly trying to stop without success was proof of how powerless I was. I found that I could relate to the stories.
#SEX ADDICTS ANONYMOUS MEETINGS OKC TV#
The betrayal and denial continued until one day when I saw a TV program about sex addicts. When I got a call from a woman I was chatting with, my girlfriend (now my wife) heard the phone message and asked me who it was. I prayed: “God if you get me out of this, I’ll be good.” When she miscarried, I continued my ways. I didn’t want to have a child with this woman. She became pregnant and was adamant about keeping the baby. I met a woman on the Internet and had an affair with her. I always felt I was different from most people. When the computer was available, I immediately started into chat rooms, images, and setting up meetings with people. I started with 8 millimeter movies, then progressed to Super 8. As technology advanced, so did my addiction. I started my sexaholic journey with men’s magazines that I found around the house. I tell myself, “Not tonight,” but only finish half the things I meant to do and rush home to get online.
I can’t wait to get home again and turn on the computer. Every woman looks like she could be “the One.” I stare at every one with lust in my heart. I have to do laundry, shopping, and some errands, but I’m pumped up on cyber-sex and Internet porn. Now it’s evening and I’m glad this day is over. It’s going to be another long day at work. I’m unshaven, unkempt, looking like a mess. Morning comes and I look at my face in the mirror. Tomorrow I am not even turning on the computer. I’m forgetting things and starting to be careless. There were things I needed to do, but they will have to wait. I’ve been searching the Internet for sex for more than six hours straight. again, way past my bedtime, but I’m still sitting at the computer.
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